The Deschutes River in central Oregon is one of the most
beautiful I’ve ever seen. Its serenely moving water through beautiful mountain
scenery entices water enthusiasts by the hundreds each sunny summer day to
enjoy a long, lazy float in a canoe, tube or raft. But there are stretches of
dangerous rapids and waterfalls that can change a day of summer fun
into a horrible tragedy in a matter of minutes.
It happened two weeks before we arrived in the locale for a
family reunion; six people tied their tubes together and were enjoying their
float so much that they missed the signs warning of dangerous water ahead. Too
late, they realized they had missed the exit point, abandoned their tubes, and
tried to swim to shore. Half the group made it; half were swept over the falls,
their lives lost.
On this particular day, my family and I were on the river
ourselves, having signed up for a
whitewater raft trip down a three-mile stretch of the same river. The six of us
piled into the raft and were listening to our guide’s instructions on how to
get back into the craft should we fall out or deliberately jump out to swim in
one of the river’s more gentle spots.
What was interesting to me was that the person in the water
does nothing but position himself at the edge of the raft. The lifting in is all
done by a person still inside the craft, who reaches down and grabs the swimmer
by the shoulder straps on the top of their life vest. He then falls backward
into the raft, pulling the swimmer in on top of him, easy as can be.
I share this because the first few months after the loss of a
husband can make you feel like you have likewise been thrown into fast-moving
water and are in danger of drowning or being swept away. Some new widows are able
to swim to safety on their own, but others rely on the strength of those in the
same boat to reach out and haul them back
into the safety of the life-raft… the companionship of those in the same
situation... as we listen to the directions of our Guide and navigate any rough
water we may face in the future… together.
When the four in our party who had exited the raft to swim
were ready to get back on board, the guide looked at my daughter-in-law and me
expectantly, waiting for us to reach down and haul them in! Neither of us moved
– we didn’t feel we had the strength necessary to pull somebody else on board,
so the guide pulled the first one in himself. That person then pulled the next
one in, and so forth until we were all safely on board once more.
On the bus trip home I remembered the words of the guide who
urged us to help the others on board, a task we two women felt physically
unable to perform at the time. When we watched the others in our group help
each other back in, we realized it was something we could have accomplished, as
well – we were simply afraid to try.
And so it is with those who are navigating the deep waters
of widowhood. God is looking to those of us who have successfully come through
the experience to reach out and help those who are struggling to get back on
board… simply by offering companionship, physical help with day to day needs,
and emotional support in ways as varied as the individuals we are. We all have the
“strength” necessary – gifts or abilities of some kind to use in helping
another through turbulent times. We just need to put them into action.
When feeling inadequate, we need only to think of how others
helped us back in the boat when we were the ones struggling, and simply offer
the same to the next one in line.
“When you pass
through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you…” (Isaiah 43:2 NIV)
