“No gifts,” we promised each other
this year in anticipation of our upcoming wedding anniversary. There
was simply too much going on in our lives at the moment to add the
stress of finding a gift that could accurately express thirty-five
years of wedded bliss. Jim was about to leave for a week-long visit
to the west coast to help his parents get their house sale-ready, we
had a contractor working on our own home with a varied schedule of
comings and goings, and there were cleaning tasks innumerable that
needed to get done in advance of guests coming next month. Our plates
were full; we would simply have to be content with the knowledge that
our hearts were the same, and leave it at that.
In reflection, my husband, Jim, didn't
abide by our rule. He didn't intentionally disobey; his lifestyle
just didn't cooperate.
“No gifts,” we said... yet Jim
brought birdseed home from the hardware store he stopped at after
work. Because I delight in watching my feathered friends outside my
kitchen window, he keeps my heart full by keeping the seed bin in the
garage the same. And not just any birdseed mix; he bought me the
over-the-top kind with all of the birds' favorite seeds and no
fillers of less desirable options – the stuff that is too expensive
for me to ever buy myself.
“No gifts,” we said...and yet he
texted me to see which of the flavored K-cup coffee pods sounded best
to me for my morning brew. How appropriate that I picked a brew
called “Dark and Handsome.” Jim keeps my heart full by keeping my
coffee cup the same.
“No gifts,” we said...yet he found
the particular red-striped petunias I'd been looking for to plant in
a similarly decorated pot and sent pictures to my phone of the so I
could tell him which of the options to bring home. When that planter
overflows with flowers this summer, he knows my heart will spill over
with joy, as well.
Have I reciprocated at all, I
wondered? Hmmm...
“No gifts,” we said...yet when
cherries were on sale this week I snagged him up a bag of the
luscious red gems that he loves but that are normally too costly to
land in our fridge. “No gifts,” we promised...yet I added a box
of his beloved Hostess Ho-Hos to the list of more healthy snacks he
had asked me to pick up for his upcoming trip. “No gifts,” we
insisted...yet I rushed home on my day off to finish the laundry so
he'd have clean clothes to pack.
When he brought home steaks to grill
for our anniversary dinner, I told him I'd pick up dessert, and
stopped at Bob Evan's to buy us each a slice of our favorite pie;
coconut cream for him and strawberry for me. As I looked at the two
sitting side by side on the counter later in the day I realized they
perfectly pictured the everyday sweetness of the past many years.
We've likewise sat side by side on the couch watching our shows and
working puzzles after dinner, and slept side by side in our bed
despite the dogs' best efforts to come between us. We've sat on
bleachers at soccer and basketball games, in the audience at school
events and later graduations, and now on the sidelines of our
children's lives, marveling as they unfold. We've sat side by side on
church pews and in the front seat of our cars as we've traveled
through life together in the years since we first walked out of the
church building as as husband and wife...side by side.
If we've broken the “no gifts”
promise it's because we've rejoiced in keeping the “I do” pledge
instead...wrapping our love in everyday ways to show that gifts of
love don't necessarily need ribbons and bows.
“Wives, understand
and support your husbands in ways that show your support for
Christ...Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as
Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting.”
(Ephesians 5:22,25 MSG)
