It happened two weeks before we arrived in the locale for a family reunion; six people tied their tubes together and were enjoying their float so much that they missed the signs warning of dangerous water ahead. Too late, they realized they had missed the exit point, abandoned their tubes, and tried to swim to shore. Half the group made it; half were swept over the falls, their lives lost.
On this particular day, my family and I were on the river ourselves, having signed up for a whitewater raft trip down a three-mile stretch of the same river. The six of us piled into the raft and were listening to our guide’s instructions on how to get back into the craft should we fall out or deliberately jump out to swim in one of the river’s more gentle spots.
What was interesting to me was that the person in the water does nothing but position himself at the edge of the raft. The lifting in is all done by a person still inside the craft, who reaches down and grabs the swimmer by the shoulder straps on the top of their life vest. He then falls backward into the raft, pulling the swimmer in on top of him, easy as can be.
I share this because the first few months after the loss of a husband can make you feel like you have likewise been thrown into fast-moving water and are in danger of drowning or being swept away. Some new widows are able to swim to safety on their own, but others rely on the strength of those in the same boat to reach out and haul them back into the safety of the life-raft… the companionship of those in the same situation... as we listen to the directions of our Guide and navigate any rough water we may face in the future… together.
When the four in our party who had exited the raft to swim were ready to get back on board, the guide looked at my daughter-in-law and me expectantly, waiting for us to reach down and haul them in! Neither of us moved – we didn’t feel we had the strength necessary to pull somebody else on board, so the guide pulled the first one in himself. That person then pulled the next one in, and so forth until we were all safely on board once more.
On the bus trip home I remembered the words of the guide who urged us to help the others on board, a task we two women felt physically unable to perform at the time. When we watched the others in our group help each other back in, we realized it was something we could have accomplished, as well – we were simply afraid to try.
And so it is with those who are navigating the deep waters of widowhood. God is looking to those of us who have successfully come through the experience to reach out and help those who are struggling to get back on board… simply by offering companionship, physical help with day to day needs, and emotional support in ways as varied as the individuals we are. We all have the “strength” necessary – gifts or abilities of some kind to use in helping another through turbulent times. We just need to put them into action.
When feeling inadequate, we need only to think of how others helped us back in the boat when we were the ones struggling, and simply offer the same to the next one in line.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you…” (Isaiah 43:2 NIV)
