Funerals are no Fun

A funeral is on the forefront of my mind this morning; tomorrow I’m attending a service for a longtime church friend.

I have issues with funerals; I hate them! To me there is nothing worse than gathering with a group of people and being sad together. The sight of others grieving is something I’ve run from for years. I go to such events not to comfort those in loss so much as to honor the one who lived and now has died. But I’d so much rather remember them in a different way.

When my husband died we had a memorial service because I knew he would've wanted one. But I couldn’t deal with decisions on caskets, pallbearers, burial plots, or any of the details related to the actual burying of the dead; it was just too much on top of losing him in the first place. In an unguarded moment during the planning session I told my daughter-in-law that what I really wanted was to have him cremated, then at a later date take a family trip back to Lincoln City, Oregon, a favorite vacation destination in past years, and place his ashes in the sea… a little unconventional, perhaps, but oh, so much happier. I’m forever grateful that Sarah heard me in that moment and agreed that we could make that happen.

And so that’s what we did. It took four years, however, to get it done, and there were days when I felt I had made the worst decision ever. I underestimated the difficulty  in scheduling a time when four busy families could find a clear space on their calendars to travel together amid so many other milestone events in their lives and work requirements. But eventually the time came, and when I stepped on that beach once more by the little D-Sands River, I was overwhelmed with joy at being there again with my boys and their families. We could only stay for 24 hours before heading to another family event farther east. But they were 24 hours of total happiness, and I’m so glad that my kids felt it, too. We said our goodbyes, and sure, we cried. But mostly it was an incredibly joy-filled remembrance of our time together in days gone by… truly a “celebration of life” like no other.

“…for dust you are and to dust you will return.” (Genesis 3:19 NIV)